Yes, this whole paternity thing is quite distressing. I wonder what Howard was thinking. Of course I heard on the radio that paternity is one thing and custody another--just because Larry B. is the bio father, it doesn't necessarily mean he'll get the baby. Hmmm. Quite distressing.

Umm, do you have days when you can't return a phone call? Like it'd kill you to call anyone back. And you can't answer the phone so the list of needtocallbacks keeps getting longer and longer and longer and you keep getting deeper and deeper and deeper into the depths of nowaycanIcallanyonebackataller? I just could not, for the life of me, call anyone back or respond to any responsibilities. I don't know why. I just had to sit on my butt. Hold the baby. Watch TV on the internet. Eat chocolate chips. And NOT answer the phone. It didn't matter if it was my mom, my therapist (I don't actually have one but for the sake of explanation), my religious leader, or my neighbor, I could not answer the %*&* phone.

I am now officially watching the Bachelor.

I still don't have a copy of the Book Thief.

Writing Thief is weird.

My butt is getting bigger every day.

And finally, last but not least, do you think anyone reads this besides me or you? It'd be funny if they did because we are freaking hilarious.